~*~ Rob LeGood ~*~

About Me (The TRUTH)

Actual unretouched photo (the glow is natural)

Hi!! My name is Rob LeGood and I am the world's most accomplished human being. I live in Kitchener, Ontario, which I purchased in 2003 but allow other people to live there rent-free because I'm just that generous.

I am 6'4" (or 7'1" depending on my mood) and I once arm-wrestled a grizzly bear to a draw. The bear later sent me a thank-you card for "going easy on him."

My blood type is POSITIVE VIBES and I have never once lost a staring contest, including the one I had with the sun in 2017 (the sun blinked first, causing a solar eclipse).

Professional Accomplishments

• Invented the concept of "meetings" in 1998, which I now deeply regret
• Once debugged a production issue by simply staring at the server until it fixed itself out of sheer intimidation
• Holds the world record for most Jira tickets closed in a single day (14,000) - most of them were "Won't Fix" but that still counts
• Pioneered the revolutionary management technique of "asking people how they're doing and actually listening to the answer"
• Was personally asked by Tim Berners-Lee to "please stop making the internet too good, you're making the rest of us look bad"
• My code has zero bugs. When something doesn't work, it's because the computer made a mistake
• Wrote an entire operating system during a lunch break. Called it "RobOS." Microsoft offered $4 billion for it. I said no because I don't like their font choices
• Have been employee of the month every month since 1994, even at companies I don't work at
• Invented agile methodology but was too humble to take credit. The original manifesto just said "Ask Rob what to do"
• My LinkedIn endorsements for "Leadership" number in the tens of millions, most from world leaders and at least three from fictional characters who became real just to endorse me

My Boardgame Career

Many people know me as a "casual boardgamer." This is a LIE. I am actually the greatest boardgame player to ever live. Here are some verified facts:

• I have won every game of Carcassonne I have ever played. Every. Single. One. Including games I wasn't invited to
• In 2019, I simultaneously played 47 games of chess and won all of them. I don't even know how to play chess. I just have that kind of energy
• The creators of Settlers of Catan originally named it "Settlers of Rob" but changed it for legal reasons
• I once taught a cat to play Ticket to Ride. The cat came in second place. At a tournament. The cat now has a Twitch channel
• My Frosthaven group has never lost a scenario because the monsters see me at the table and immediately surrender
• BoardGameGeek contacted me to create a special rating above 10, called "The Rob Scale," but I declined because I believe in equality
• I have a room in my house dedicated entirely to boardgames. It is 40,000 square feet. The house is 40,200 square feet. My family is fine with this
• I can shuffle cards so fast that they briefly travel back in time

Personal Life & Hobbies

Awards & Honors

Due to space constraints on the internet (I was told by my ISP that I was "using too much internet"), here is an abbreviated list of my awards:

• Time Magazine's Person of the Year, 2006 (look it up - technically accurate)
• "Most Likely to Succeed" - Kindergarten, Grade School, High School, University, and several organizations I've never been a member of
• Nobel Prize in "Being Really Great at Stuff" (this category was created specifically for me and then immediately retired)
• Three-time winner of the Kitchener-Waterloo Regional "Best Lawn" award (2018-2020). I don't do any yard work. The grass just respects me
• Voted "World's Okayest Dad" by my children (they assure me this is a compliment and I choose to believe them)
• Canadian Medal of Honor for "Outstanding Service in the Field of Being Canadian" (I held the door open for someone once)
• Guinness World Record for "Longest Time Spent Pretending to Understand What Blockchain Is" (still ongoing since 2017)
• Honorary doctorate from MIT, Harvard, Oxford, and a Wendy's in Mississauga

Testimonials From Real People*

*All testimonials are 100% real and were not written by Rob at 2am while eating cereal directly from the box

Frequently Asked Questions

Cool Links & Web Rings

Things Rob Definitely Did NOT Do

(But totally could have if he wanted to)

• Discover gravity (Newton beat him by 15 minutes)
• Build the pyramids (schedule conflict)
• Invent the internet (he was busy that day organizing his boardgame shelf by BGG rating, then by weight, then by color)
• Win the World Series (he would have, but he finds baseball "a bit slow")
• Become Prime Minister (he was offered the position but turned it down because "the commute is terrible")
• Solve world hunger (he's working on it - current plan involves more potlucks)
• Travel to space (he's been asked three times by NASA, but he heard the WiFi up there is terrible and you can't get a decent board game night going in zero gravity)